For this particular post I want to focus on the particular individuals you are likely to meet at a house party around Brisbane. I know there are a lot of factors to take into account like host, high and lower income areas and private and open house parties but lets just pretend it is the perfect shit storm and the party has the perfect amount of fuck wits at it for this list to work.
Note; I have been / probably am more than one of these fuckwits.
1. The Young Guy.
He just always seems to be far to fucked up for his own good. We have all been to a house party were there is a young guy (sometimes way to young) who some how managed to get hammered as fuck to the point of vomiting a dangerous amount and then passing out/ his parents have to come get him. Don't get me wrong he is having the time of his life but it is kinda sad when there is a large group of older people are just egging him on to have another scull from the Mishka Vodka bottle he is clutching to like its an Academy award. Dude is busted and gets 3 out 5 used frangas to the face if you ask me.
2. Stuck-Up Girl.
So I find this particle person is usually around when there is a large group of girls who are friends or parties where the host is a girl. She's not stuck up in the way that your flanny and XXXX combo is gross and bogan. It's more in the way that she thinks she is the most amazing female at the party and every one wants to screw her/ be her. For some reason she has been getting told that she is the pettiest most wonderful person her whole life and feels the need to own that title while in a large group of girls. She usually ends her night by fighting with one or more of the other girls and crying on the back steps because for some reason none of the "hot" guys wanted to talk to her. This girl can get 4 out of 5 used frangas to the face, thanks.
3. The ASSHOLE.
Everyone has had a run in with this guy. I know because he makes sure you have a run in with him. Usually hailing from a larger group of assholes at the party but still manages to stick out like dogs balls (wearing something just as loud as him). For some reason this guy makes it his mission to fuck shit up. I don't know if its because he likes ruining peoples night or if he just wakes up in the morning some how feeling like "I did nothing wrong". Fucking psychopath. You all have your own stories but here is just a few things this guy might do;
Gets stupidly fucked up
Breaks shit just to see if break
Climbs on shit
Tries to fight people
Snorts or shelves googs
Steals drinks and in worse cases just items from the house
Takes peoples clothing eg. hats and wears em
Pretty much just piss every one off.
These guys need to fuck off back their little dark rooms for kick-ons and get 4 out of 5 used frangas to the face.
4.Older Dude
This older dude makes it a point to seem older and talk about being older when he in reality he is probably only 3 years older than most people at the party. He always tells stories of "how fucked up we got when I was your age" and usually hits on much younger girls in a kinda creepy way. There is not much else to this guy apart from usually being dressed in a douchy way. 2 out 5 frangas for you sir.
5. Rich Boy
Usually works as a laborer or something that doesn't require and background experience or learning but is some how (parents) rich as fuck and likes to talk about it. Rocking up with unopened bottles of expensive spirits, showing off a belt and a shiny watch, yeah good on ya. Managed to work into the conversation how he is going to Europe again at Christmas and how DOPE his last Sunday session was with the boys. Get real cunt, 4 out of 5 used frangas!
6. The Fucked Up Girl
I'd say that this is like a werewolf situation. this girl doesn't come with any age or place but it happens often. It could be good friend of yours or some one you barely know but we have all been to a party when there is an incredibly fucked up girl that every one ends up looking after. Like she was fine 35 mins ago and now she is hooking up with some random freak. Holding her hair back while she pukes her brains out, screaming and yelling and changing the music every 3 seconds. This girl is a menace to the party and gets 3-5 franga dangs to the face!
7. Bipolar Couple.
Ok so these guys might be a bit more of a rare treat as some of you usual party goers but I have been to a few events where they have made an appearance. I don't really know what sets them off but you can kinda get the idea of what is going on from them screams and in more extreme cases objects being thrown and drinks splashed in faces. Only to find the pair of them half an hour later with each other tongues down their throats. (Note; Stay out of it!) I don't get these people, maybe they get off on causing drama but it can be scary for onlookers. 4-5 frangazzz.
8. Drug Dealer Guy
You probably have met or know a drug dealer but this particular guy is special. The guy who makes a big deal talking about how much drugs he has, how much he has sold and how good it is. Often asking questions like have you had such n' such drug? It's fuckin' dope! or, how much do you pay for this? I have the good shit! Asking you if you want his number. Man I have even met this chum at the skate park. Dude needs to take a break 4-5 frangas flicked in his mug.
9. Mr Bongy Bong Bong Guy!
At parties this bloke isn't really that bad, he kinda stays to himself and small entourage of stoned goons. I find that this guy is only a pain when he throws the "party". I get that smoking weed can be fun and "rad" but there is a lot more you could be doing rather than sitting on couch playing FIFA or watching some weird B grade horror flick from 2009 while your mate bumps hes fav summer house hits in the back ground and all six of you watch in awe as it some how magically syncs up! "THE TIMING IS PERFECT MAN!" Yeah nah just because you and Greg are stoned off your tits don't mean it's a party dude. 3 outta 5 frangadangs to this cooked cunts face.
10. The Last Guy.
I know there are a few other people that you are likely to meet but I think most of em can be roped into being more or less the people we have already mentioned. This last guy is almost at every party/ gathering you go to and he may even be a close friend. He's a sneaky bugger. Often dressing well and being able to make polite conversation (agreeing with whatever you say). The last guy is the guy who hangs around at the event until the bitter end with the intention of gettin laid. This slimy prick some times doesn't even drink anything or he will steal a beer or 2 for the image of having fun. Some females are able to see right through this bloke but most the time he just seems like a nice companion. In his mind he's just slowly weeding his way through the girls at the party until he latches onto one with a firm grip in hopes of gettin poon. I don't like this guys style at all! You should have just stayed home at your parents place and bought the tinder app for fuck sake. 5 of 5 frangas to da creep.
Cheers!