Sunday, July 24, 2016

Prescription drugs and high speed internet

 Do you ever stop and think that you'll just "grow out" of social media like Tinder, Facebook and Instagram? Are we so addicted that at 60 we'll still ignore the friends sitting next to us to stare at the chest of some tinder girl who's probably never going to reply to your awkward attempt at initiating a conversation? I do understand that the demographic of people that obsess over social media are very different to me, to us, the bmx / Chronic Bone lifestyle livers, but  will they cling onto the unhealthy and superficial forever? are we witnessing (or living) the most accelerated and drastic change in human behavior in recorded history?

At time of writing I have taken more than double the prescribed amount of Endone so please keep that in mind as we dive into this one. Anatomically, modern man is roughly 200,000 years old. We're talking about a species that's been dicking around for 200,000 years but only came up with the wheel about 5,500 years ago, and we only worked out gravity 300 years ago! That's a pretty slow learning curve there guys. To give a tad more perspective, the idea that the earth moved around the sun didn't start to gain momentum until about 500 years ago and the machines that were first used to manufacture books were invented some 100 years before that. If you take that and compare it to modern digital media, it's pretty wild.

If we go right back to the beginning, the computer itself was invented in 1946, there's some sources that disagree with that date but we'll just roll with it for now. Only 15 years later came e-mail, instant messages that would come to break global borders properly for the first time in human history. Only another 30 years on and we had the world wide web, that was only 4 years before we had search engines that are pretty similar to what we use today. That was the year 1995, now we're only 20 years on from that and the entire human experience has changed. We share images and ideas instantly and we can meet and chat with people on the other side of the world so easily that it's taken for-granted.

Welcome to a world where it took 195,000 years to invent the wheel, and only two seconds to stare at your phone and decide who you're going to try and have sex with tonight. So are we going to keep snowballing into a future where innovation becomes everyday? Or is this just  golden era that is bound to come to an end? Will we end up living a Orwell style dystopian future, or are we now only a couple of years away from an apple branded, touch screen utopia?

I'm sober now and I really wasn't sure f I should post this up but  figured fuck it, y'all can get weird with me. I hope this didn't fuck with your Monday morning too bad, Brenton.

Friday, July 15, 2016

Dulwich Magic Moments!

There hasn't been much posting action going down on this blog. Mainly because we have been gearing up for a complete new look website and clothing collection for Chronic Bone. I have some photos here that I have been hanging onto for a while now and I think it's about time they were shared. So have a squizz at some of the magic moments captured at Dulwich! These images were made to become part of the final production of the DVD.

Prem photos will be up soon!


Thursday, June 30, 2016

Is this the greatest playlist ever created? Probably.

Alright, it's now officially Friday afternoon, I'm stuck at work in body but my mind is 4 hours ahead of me lining up that perfect playlist to punch cones and smash beers to. I take a bit of pride in my ability to line up playlists that make clothes fall off and white girls dance like they're in a Nelly film clip.*

I'm also a pretty good dude** so this weekend, your playlist is on me.

R. Kelly - Bump n' Grind
This is the bad boy you want to hod onto until everyone is well past sobriety, a versatile song that can either split sheets faster than any force know to man, or get everyone in the room doing seedy dance moves that would put Shakira to shame.

50 Cent - In Da Club
If you can't get into this song then you need to remove yourself from whatever party you are at and put your salty ass to bed early. Everyone knows the lyrics and everyone knows you have to sing them. Party rules, bro.

Nelly - Air Force Ones
The most popular shoe on the planet and a song that never quite got the love it deserved. Nelly knows how to play it and this track will let you tap straight into that "Nelly-force."

Will Smith - Gettin' Jiggy Wit It
You want to pull this track out early, it's something everyone half knows the words to but not well enough to sing along with once they've polished off a few tallies. Also guaranteed to make you look like a champion in fluro shorts and a bright singlet. Legend.

TLC - Waterfalls
The beauty of this TLC track is you can slide it anywhere into your evening, get it happening early and set the mood straight off the bat or hold onto it for later in the evening and have your crew doing the slow, soulful jam between mouthfuls of their cheap wine.

Gwen Stephani - Hollaback Girl
It's important you hold onto this one until you're way too far past it to spell bananas without assistance. You'll really appreciate the sing-a-long style here.

50 Cent - P.I.M.P.
The most sacred of party tracks, P.I.M.P. should be used as the pump up track between slower, more groove oriented beats. You can often pair this track with a party doobie or beer bong depending on which direction you want to head. Either way, prepare to piss your neighbors off when every one screams MUTHERFUKIN P-I-M-P a half dozen times.

OutKast - Hey Ya!
This is a given, no party playlist is complete without some Andre3000 funk. You know the words, you want to shout them, you want to dance like the inebriate jackass you are whilst you shout said lyrics. Go for it pals.

Nelly - Hot In Here
Nelly kills it again with this classic track about the shitty ventilation wherever you are. The only rule here is don't expect anyone to take their clothes off when this comes on. The only person who will is your way-too-drunk mate who has a bigger beer gut than your great uncle and is hairy enough to play chewy in the next sequel.

Justin Timberlake - Rock Your Body
White people love JT. You can deny it all you want but with enough white wine inside of your body this is going to be your favorite song of all time. Trust me, I've been there and I came back a wiser man.

Beyonce - Crazy In Love
There's a reason Beyonce is called the queen, you can shake your booty better than Amber Rose the second you get some of this funk in you.

Destiny's Child - Survivor
You're going to regret yelling "I'M A SURVIVOR" into the night sky tomorrow morning when you're barely scraping by, battling a colossal hangover that aspirin cannot tame. That said you might as well enjoy feeling that good while you can.

*The chances of people getting naked to these songs in between slim and none.
**I am 100% not a good dude.

Tuesday, June 21, 2016

Boots with the fur!

I don't like sneakers. I don't own a pair at all. When I "work out" I do it in old riding shoes that are worn half through. I certainly never paid $400 for a pair of sneakers that I have no intention of running in.

Meet the mayor of douche-ville

I found a video this week whilst I was stumbling through the vast depths of youtube and admittedly it's a huge wank. It's actually a massive wank. It's a wank so gigantic that when this dude shouts "skeet skeet mufukka" it rains on the other side of the country. But colossal wank aside it's pretty interesting. This guy sits in his basement and talks about owning shoes that would get you a house deposit almost like it's nothing. I actually didn't even know that there were shoes worth this much money. It's pretty mind bending but not in a pleasant "my sisters are the trees" way. It's more of a "we're really overdue for that rapture" sensation. The fact that there are people strutting around in Nike's here in Australia when they go to get a coffee used to spin me out, now I find out those shoes might be worth a couple of g's!? I don't get paid enough guys.

Future Nike's that don't lace themselves up and a hover board that doesn't hover.

In all seriousness it's an interesting argument; people buy these shoes as a wearable piece of art in a sense (as old mate in the vidya points out). But on the other hand they're paying crazy amounts of money for the thing that goes between you and all the filth of the world. Where you draw the line between reasonable and unreasonable is completely up to you but for me, my $100 pair of Etnies are comfy to ride in, look stylish enough to get me into whatever beer soaked local I'm headed for and if they last a year I'll be stoked.

Call me out if you think I'm wrong and sneaker style is the future or something but in the meantime enjoy the coming weekend my dudes!

(For those who are truly set on demolishing their opinion of humanity you can check the video and attached article HERE)

Thursday, June 16, 2016

Jumper Sale, Junk from the web!

There are a few Chronic Bone Jumpers on sale on our online store at the moment. Embrace the cold!
Both of em at $35. Click Here! 

As you would expect, Trey Jones new video for cult crew is full of wild gaps, wallrides and original moves! Check this fast paced beast out! Looks like a bunch of great times!

Maybe you're not into rap music. Maybe you are? I was pretty excited to see some new music from Danny Brown. I've always enjoyed his enthusiasm towards partying. Anyway I dig this new track and the video is fuckin dope! (note; he fixed his teeth)


Monday, June 13, 2016

Simmo's Photo Feature 2

A while back I featured a few of Simmo's photo here on CB. He had been shooting on disposable film cameras for some time and had gathered an interesting collection of images. You can squizz that post here.

Since then Simmo has kept up the photo taking and upgraded from disposable to a nice pre-loved Pentax.
Along with the quality of image, Simmo's direction has improved. His documentation of rock climbing trips have become more concise in intention. Giving the viewer (in this case friends on facebook) an eye into an isolated outback Australia, populated by his personal friends antics and leisure. Passing through small towns, waiting on the side of the road for one another and relaxing at the end of the day over a beer, all of these photographs represent a desire for adventure and truly make his online audience crave an outdoor experience. On the other hand. Simmo has managed to take the precious Pentax into the party zone. Bluntly displaying binge drinking, the photographs offer a look into another side of a person who enjoys all good things in life. Candid shots, people showing off, Simmo is immersed in the party program and every one is comfortable with him snagin' a photograph or two knowing that those images will become apart of his online collection. In-turn working towards the same goal of creating some kind of ambition to head outside, and live a little.

Here are a selection of photographs by Simmo