Wednesday, November 25, 2015

I am not a trendy dude

People seem to be enjoying my shitty diatribes about completely random shit which I really appreciate, it's cool that other BMX dudes (and people in general) are interested in the same shit as us fella's here on the blog, especially seeing as how between me, James and Simmo we're all into pretty different types of stuff! Now where I'm going with this is that I'm not a super trendy dude, the only shirts I own came from target or Chronic Bone's web store. For a while now though I've noticed that untrendy is super trendy? Every party I go to (not that many honestly) it seems like the more of a wacky freak you are the more people treat you like you're a mad trend dawg. I was at a Halloween party this year and a chick was decked out with a bunch of shopping bags and a lobster hat, between chuggin a ciggie and rolling so hard the chuppa-chup she was holding was practically melted to her face, she managed to explain she was consumer crab. She dressed as consumerism for Halloween. In my mind that is a fucking excellent costume but it's not exactly the sort of shit I would have thought most people would get into. I have also noticed that the long hair thing is getting real big. Generally I look like I'm doing my best impression of post big-night-out oscar the grouch (please don't get me started on how he's not homeless he's just a shameless pot head)., the more filthy and pissed off I look the more excited people seem to be when I arrive anywhere? And it's the same with girls, working in the city I notice the lady trends too, like dressing like the lead singer  of My Chemical Romance but with more piercings. Before you get too far assuming this is another big salt fest, I actually love this shit. It's awesome that grimy weird is becoming more and more acceptable and it's even better still when guys like Erik Elstran get some recognition for deadly good riding and just being a freak! I spotted his new seat and I'm already lining one up for next payday! Check it:
Sharks with frickin lasers!

This big ass photo of Calvin Kosovich's trendy face sucked me straight into this story. Last week I had a bit of a froth on Cooper Brownlee well this week it's another seriously good Aussie BMX dude. The unusual structure of this interview is pretty entertaining and Calvin has some interesting stories to tell for sure. Click the image to head over to Defgrip and check it out.

Finally, this here video just got me super keen to jump on my bike and ride. I love when you get a little bit of an insight into what makes guys who basically ride as a full time job still want to get on their bikes and have fun. Tyler Fernengel is quite a young dude but he doesn't seem to be the completely egotistical dick that a lot of other young pro's turn into when people start paying attention to them. I'm well jealous of the opportunities that lie ahead of this fella but it looks like he's putting them to good use, and most importantly he's having a shit load of fun!

Don't take yourselves too seriously and stay TRENDY!

Monday, November 23, 2015

Pass Out!

Brento has been doing a swell job keeping the content up on here.

Here is the latest in internet things I want to share!

Doomsday For The Deceiver: Wilto!

Tempered bikes just drop the first video part of their very exciting project to revive the Australian brand. This video is the first video of three and welcomes Wilton Hedley to the team and my goodness it's goodness! Wilton and Vocko have been out there every weekend combining their passion and ability's to create such production of a web video. Wilton effortlessly fly's between ramp, streets and rails with a fun loving attitude. The dude is a bloody legend! Mike has done an outstanding job giving us eye into what is to come for Tempered and what talent Wilton has on as bike. You can read more about the project HERE!

Doomsday For The Deceiver: Wilton Hedley 2015 from TEMPERED on Vimeo.

Tame Impala showed in Brisbane over the weekend and it was a blast.
A good mate of mine was shooting photos at the event. CHECK EM OUT.

Street Artist "SHIDA" has painted a very impressive piece in a fairly well known location. Throught this was dope!

Shida, Nine Tails Fox. from Shida ZRF on Vimeo.


Thursday, November 19, 2015

Slug music

I've never understood why people get so excited about Friday, in my mind it's like being into a girl because her sister is hot... sure Friday is the day before the weekend but until 5 O'clock rolls around it is still just as much a shitty work day dealing with wanky creative types as any other weekday (for me at least). I managed to escape the day to day drudgery yesterday evening with a quick roll at Capalaba skate park and bumped into some other good dudes who ride, always excellent meeting guys who are down to talk shit at a park!

This video came up on my newsfeed earlier in the week and I am really impressed with how together the Brisbane skateboarding scene is. There always seems to be a jam or event happening and it's not exclusive to one or two skateparks either. Definitely something that we riders should try and work towards.

If you want to have a quick read of the rundown of the day and check the names of who took out prizes jump across to Vimeo (link attatched to the vidyah) and it's all there.

DOWN WITH STRANGER UP WITH COLONY (or Division to be more specific)
This edit came up in co nversation last night along with the topic of how quickly Stranger has gone completely to shit and how Division seems to be killing it recently. Honestly I think it is awesome that Cooper has managed to do so well with Division, I've never met the guy but the stories I've heard make it sound like he is super commited to making shit happen and BMX in general. I will admit I have beef with the claim that this was entirely filmed in Brisbane CBD, I feel that's a bit of a stretch but that aside it takes a serious bit of diversity to make something out of the poor excuse for spots that Brisbane has to offer anyways and these dudes kill it. Now it's time to start trying to work out where the fuck BNE is hiding all those good ledges!

Finally, I found this mix on soundcloud and was seriously confused, do I want to laugh this off as some shitty rave music with the corniest theme ever? Or do I want to see mhow many drugs I can jam up my rectum and dance until my eyes are so wide and glazed they look like they're painted on?
Either way, check this shit out and enjoy the weekend to come!

Tuesday, November 17, 2015

Another day another chance to smoke ice in your mates back shed.

Happy fucking Monday everyone. I assume most people that suss this here blog work full-time or at least part time enough to loathe Mondays. I personally spent my morning stuck in peak hour traffic heading from Beenleigh into the city even though I actually live about 15 minutes out of the city center. Shit was fucked. Add to this my car was blowing so much smoke the car behind me looked like they were hotboxing and it made for a pretty shitty morning. Fuck Mondays basically. Garfield gets it.

One of the things that really does help me smash through crappy days like today is looking forward to a big ass Japanese holiday I have in the works so when I spotted this story on 2020 I was pretty pumped. I know that 100% good dude Chris Goldring (check a short and sweet edit of his here) was there a short while ago but I haven't had a chance to annoy him with 10 million questions yet, in the meantime I'll be frothing this story so hard. Looks Like Japan is becoming a pretty trendy place to visit for BMX trips and to soak up some incredible culture as well! Check the story out >>HERE<<

Diogo Santos is a favourite rider of mine for his super groovy riding style (and his wacky name). His latest edit is all of the goodness you can expect from an edit that starts with the riders name in pasta!

Jay Wilson absolutely kills it (and nearly himself) in this section from the Sewer DVD which I've not heard of but am dead keen to check out after witnessing this!

Fuck mondays. 

Thursday, November 12, 2015

Cool things.

The usual stuff from the internet that I find cool then share on this blog post!

First off this masterpiece really speaks for itself.
optical illusions and BMX! What a dream!

Another videos of BMX that is insane that also speaks for itself ( I'm on my way out the door).

and I found this video interesting and wish there was more like it!


have a good weekend.

Wednesday, November 11, 2015

How to be an utter fuckwit.

I'm a fat salty cunt. Ask anyone who's known me for a while and they will confirm, Brento has long hair, talks about cars too much and is salty. Super salty. Bullshit fuckin salty. With that in mind I'd like to lead you on a journey into my saltbag mind where we can explore some trends I've recently noticed. In particular I'm talking about that fuckwit at every party you go to, the guy who gives off such an aura of dumb cunt you can't look at them without wanting to vomit and punch the idiot at the same time. I was at a party recently where there was about 5 of these cunts and it's got me bloody riled up. let's begin:

1. Being an utter fuckwit at a party starts well before you walk through the door. It's important to choose attire that does two things, tells people you're interested in subversive culture and two, distances you as far as possible from actually having anything to do with subversive culture. I'll give you an example: you could wear a Megadeth t-shirt (sick) and then tuck your fucking t-shirt into your skinny black jeans which you have rolled up to show off the brand name on your socks (fuckwit). It was also pointed out to me that at least one of these idiots was wearing a beanie in the middle of Queensland summer.
(Sidenote: The more deodorant or aftershave you wear, the better. you need to smell like you're a 16 year old who just discovered Lynx)

2. The second step to actually prepare for the party is to select a drink that is universally adored by pissheads, the golden brew of humanity, I'm talking about beer. Of course during this process the brand of beer you select is extremely important. It's no good buying a beer you actually like if nobody else at the party has heard of it so your choices are essentially XXXX Gold or VB, VB coming in with more standards per stubbie so there's your decision made. You absolutely HAVE to buy an entire carton because you're a fucking legend and you're gonna get so cunted you can't walk, plus then you can share em with all the hot chixxx at the party, LEGEND. If you follow all this up by constantly talkin about how "sick" VB is and how you "fuckin love" VB and talking about VB in a fukin aussie accent you're already well on your way to be a complete, utter fuckwit.

3. Now you're completely prepared for the party having dressed like you just Googled punk hipster and being stocked up with a case of beer you can't wait to tell everyone about (it's VB, lol) you have to make sure you're the top dog, big man, absolute legend that everyone wants to know. This is where the handshake comes in. I don't know what it is with these cunts but for some reason they have the compulsion to shake the hand of every single human being they encounter. Not in a friendly "hey mate, nice tie-die whatdidyousayyournamewas?" way but more in a "I'm shaking your hand because I'm a fuckwit" way. This handshake must be perfectly crafted to inform the person you've acknowledged them, but you really don't give a fuck about anyone but yourself. A true art in itself, the fuckwit handshake is limp, brief and by the time you've made contact with the other persons hand you have to be looking at the next person you're going to subject to your fuck off awful handshake. I honestly struggle to wrap my head around this one, why the fuck is some 19 year old dude shaking my hand like I'm his girlfriends dad? Did you really have to weave your way between the door and the 15 people swaying drunkenly on the deck just to give the briefest, most piss-weak handshake you could manage? Fuck.

4. You're at the party, you're dressed like a dumb cunt, you just bumped into 4 people trying to shake hands with the one guy sitting in the corner who's too baked to get up... Time to party! But not really. The final, and perhaps most crucial aspect of the entire fuckwit facade is that you don't dance, you don't drink and you just look sour the second the girl you're trying to fuck stops paying attention to you. If you drink more than a 6 pack of the carton you brought then you're doing it wrong. No matter how much you talk about the VB you're holding in your hand you can't actually make any effort to sink said piss. Instead just focus on complaining about the music unless someone is blasting alt.metal so loud nobody else at the party can hold a conversation, and chugging those rollies that cigarette marketing has convinced you are cooler than tailors. (That shit is real, ciggie companies want you smoking rollies, they've got more sugar in em so kids will drop cash on darts instead of whatever else you might buy.)

5. Voila! You have now completed the utter fuckwit look and you're acting like a cunt! I'm not really sure what these idiots do after this point because I either drink myself into oblivion or get the fuck out of any party with too many fuckwits. Okay, so mostly this is just a post about how fucking stupid you look when you tuck a t-shirt into jeans and sip VB like it's champers and yeah I'm only using the word fuckwit so much because I've been listening to Cosmic Psychos on repeat but that's what the salt-life is.